Is Divorce the Answer?
Researchers describe marriage as “the most risky undertaking routinely taken by the greatest number of people in our society.” A high percentage of those who jumped into the wagon found out that the journey is not what they thought it was. Once the marriage began to show instability and distress, couples instantly turn to the one and only convenient solution they know: Divorce.
In some countries like the United States, divorce rate accelerated at a dazzling pace to the point that it has now become the mainstream of American life. Some Christian groups especially the Catholic Church do not approve divorce except only on the ground that a spouse committed infidelity where the offended party has the right to terminate the marriage. But is divorce the answer? Does it end life’s anxieties? Does it guarantee a successful marriage in the future?
Let us see some important issues.
If you are a woman, divorce may leave you penniless or drastically reduce your income. If you retain custody it may be hard to support the children and yourself. Your economic situation may become disastrous if your husband does not provide financial support. A man on the other hand, may increase his income after divorce.
Shared custody of the children posts some problems too. Parenting, visitations, child support and discipline are issues that need to be resolved. It will not be easy to have a working relationship with your ex but you need to work together on the matter. The hard part is if one or both partner insist their own terms or if the decision of the court does not favor one or the other. However, it will be harder if you were granted full custody of your children because you will have to face the responsibility of both Mom and Dad and make parental decisions by yourself.
Divorce also affects children. When their parents separate, children are caught in the middle. It is true that marital tension can take its toll on their young mind and hearts. But can we assume that splitting up would be to their best interest? The book “The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce” states: “Many adults who are trapped in very unhappy marriages would be surprised to learn that their children are relatively content. They don’t care if Mom and Dad sleep in different beds as long as the family is together.” The family is like a wall that protects them from a harsh and scary world outside. It is within the family that they find comfort, security and unconditional love. Destroy the family unit and the protective wall collapses too.
How about the parties involved? The effect of divorce on you can be emotionally devastating. Resentment and bitter feelings may linger for a long time. Overwhelmed by loneliness, you might also make the mistake of rushing into a new relationship again.
It is not the aim of this article to tell you what to do. If your spouse has been unfaithful, you can choose to leave or to forgive. In the end, the decision is yours to make. Whichever road you follow, you must be aware of the consequences and be ready to deal with them.
