My daughter leaves the kitchen thumping her feet, frustrated, with arms crossed and frowns ,complaining “That’s not fair”! All this for denying her ice cream before dinner. Hearing statements like “That’s not fair” from my kids, rattle my nerves. All too often I have heard children complaining “Life’s not fair!”
I and my husband are happy about the fact that we can provide our kids with all their needs. I am really grateful for the same.For children who grow up in a life of privilege, fairness is perhaps the most familiar concept etched into their young lives. My children are unaccustomed to the harsh realities of life, lack the wisdom of age and grow indignant when fairness is violated. So my decision of her not letting eat the ice cream just before dinner or not being able to see TV on a weekend can turn their life being not fair or the worst days of their lives. At times I just revert by shouting back at them “May these be the worst days of your ENTIRE lives….you should be very lucky for that!!!” For children almost everything that goes against their desire is unfair.
When they grow they will realise that indeed life can’t be always fair. We all have a journey ahead of us and there are times when we just have to walk alone and then there will be lessons that have to be learnt alone. Life can be inevitably hard and I would love to teach my children some lessons for life which I am not sure they will understand now but maybe one day….
1. They can be happy if they choose to be happy.
2. Along with respecting the elders, animals, surroundings and occassions,it’s equally important to respect themselves.
3. Smile at every opportunity you get or create situations for you to smile,feel alive and energized…that can brighten anyone’s day.
4.To enjoy the present and not wait for something better to happen. Now is the moment of oneself.
5.Mistakes are ok, it’s more important to try.
6. Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and repeat to yourself: this, too,
shall pass.
7. The door of opportunity is wide open if they are prepared.
8. To remember that always at any point of time there are people worse off than you, so always be grateful for what you have. One of my favorite quotes is “If there are thousands of people better off than you in this world then there are millions who are worse off than you”!
9.Its ok to cry your heart out, time does heal the wound, but the scar –though it may fade --- will be there forever. So be very careful with how you treat others.
10.They have much more potential than they ever imagined and by giving their best they can achieve almost anything. “Continuous effort – not strength or intelligence – is the key to unlocking our potential.”
When they don’t understand the “why” behind a “no” from a parent or from life, all they have to do is trust and believe that life will surely be fair. I hope when they are having the”worst days of their lives” they learn their life lessons and come out with grace and strength. As a mom, I am here to guide them, to teach them and to make them ready to thrive and survive their “real life”!
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