Parenting….. Oh boy! Rather girl!

 I am a new mom at 41… and yes it was a 2011 new year resolution and here I am in 2012 attempting to demonstrate the gall of writing a regular column on parenting !!! Well the good thing is that, it is NOT an advice column. Rather this is one where anyone who has had a parent (which, incidentally would include everyone) is welcome to commend, comment and critique and not necessarily in that order. Anyway, going back to the title of this topic, yes I am a happy and not too sleepless a mom (thanks to super dad) of a cackly and petite little 3 month old who by all means is a sweet child and has been that way since the day I found out she was a 6 week old peanut in me. Pregnancy when you are of AMA, the medical term of advanced maternal age can be very interesting. This is true not only from a technical perspective of the supposed possibility of complications, but also because you are being unconventional in the timing of having your first child and that can be a serious cause for well-meaning or misplaced concern for EVERYONE but you!!!
 
However, the point of today’s rambling is to reminisce some dos and don’ts that made my 9 months a breeze in every way shape and form. Apart from the amazing people who made that possible for me (yup, beginning to sound like the Oscar acceptance speech I know), my heartfelt gratitude is towards my little baby girl who didn’t let her mom skip a beat when she was in me. Anyhoo, if you are pregnant, planning to be, have a friend who may be, or wish to impregnate someone legally in the near or distant future, it may interest you to know that as clichéd at it may sound but the gestation (dunno why that word always reminds me of elephants) period can be one of the most miraculous times in a woman’s life or the most stressful. Even though in hindsight after the little tyke has cooed and peed, life is beautiful, yet I find myself reminiscing my pregnancy very very fondly, and that happiness carries forth in everything I do with and for my child.
 
IT REALLY IS ABOUT YOU… (You being the mom to be)
 
Yes as shallow as it may sound, please make these 9 months about you and don’t feel guilty doing it. Once you are a parent, it will NEVER be about you again… EVER, so whether it is your first child or your 5th, make each of those 9 months count and make them special with things that bring you happiness and peace. I was supremely blessed with friends who made me feel like I was the most beautiful and special person in the world. My husband brought me fresh flowers every week. I never really had any cravings or morning sickness so it was my usual take out fare from the restaurants I liked. My gym instructor was so kind and encouraged me so much as I sat on that exercise ball and with passing months began to look like it! My work colleagues were supportive, gave me the most practical and sound advice on making sure I dressed happy and well, took time for myself, and so many other little things which made me feel, my gosh I am so going to enjoy being a mom.
 
YOUR BEST FRIEND IS YOUR DOCTOR
 
The only reason I say that is because every woman is different, every pregnancy is different even for the same woman, and trust me there is no dearth of well-meaning friends and family who will share every conceivable (pun intended) advice and anecdote and make you ponder, wonder and fill you with a plethora of questions. Yes, the Internet is the mother of all knowledge where the gods of motherhood reside, but do talk your doctor. Not only is it reassuring but also very prudent to do so in terms of the information you will have to make this the best time of your life.
 
DO THINGS YOU LOVE WITH PEOPLE YOU LOVE
 
Once you have befriended your doctor, you are set to conquer the world one trimester at a time. Trust me, you can “will” yourself to be on top of the world or feel like crap if you focus a wee bit inwards. Not every pregnancy is a breeze but even through the toughest ones, you will have things you love to do, DO THEM. I know a friend who was laid up in the hospital for a good amount of the time and she read like there was no tomorrow. Make those readings count, read to your baby. The sound of your voice makes them very secure and very happy once they come out in the world. The more your child hears your voice and the voices of who they will live with, the happier they are as babies and can feel safe in a crowd knowing they can hear you. And yes, I do speak from my little 3 month old experience on that one !
 
DON’T LET THE HORMONES BRING YOU DOWN FOR TOO LONG
 
Yes they will, sometimes more than others but when that happens go back to the previous paragraph and really try and find things to do that will make you happy. You will find yourself focusing on things that matter and make you slowly understand the journey you are about to embark on. Know that your happiness is very important as is your peace, not just for the baby; remember this is about you!! Talk to your doctor, talk to your friends or family members who you think will understand and counsel you rather than preach and tell you things you don’t want to hear.
 
READ UP
 
Seriously, read up on the books out there and you will never look at yourself the same again. The human body is a miracle in itself not to mention the little life you have within you. You will enjoy reading how things change each day or each week. Get some fun phone apps and read up on the little dos and don’ts related to your pregnancy. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing but true knowledge is power. 
 
I could go on and on but fact remains as a mom to be you know what you need to do. Trust your instincts and go with your gut and your doc. The rest of you in the categories I mentioned above, make that wonderful woman in your life feel like she is on top of the world every day of those 9 months. Make her feel that nothing or no one is as beautiful even with her tired swollen feet and waddle. Let her know that even with all the ligament pains she is a princess about to become a queen. Do all that and more so that the memories of those 9 months remain etched like a beautiful picture in her mind. For me it was a collage of memories from work outs and yoga, to a fun night in Vegas, from beautiful road trips to getting drenched in the Pacific with some very dear friends from temple visits and home pujas to a midnight cruise along the Colorado river under a starlit sky.
 
Yes friends, parenting begins long before you become a parent… before you talk to your child, get in touch with who you are going to be as a parent, the rest of it is pure fun all the way through.