‘Everywhere the same slogans about a better future, and everywhere photos of children who smile, run about and play. Alas, our human future is not childhood but old age. The true humanism of society is revealed through its attitude toward old age. But old age, the only future that each of us faces, will never be shown on any propaganda posters. Neither on the left, nor on the right..' - Milan Kundera
I volunteer as a care giver in a centre for Alzheimer’s patients. The place also doubles up as an old age home. Yesterday, while I was at the centre, I heard a commotion outside. On being asked what the problem was, I was informed that a girl had come to take away her grandmother, whom her parents had send to the centre. Curious, I walked up to the girl and amidst all the commotion managed to ask her, what the problem was. It seemed that the Centre authorities were refusing to release her grandmother since she wasn’t authorized to take her away. The parents had been called and they arrived within 20 minutes.
Vijeyta, who’s grandmother was send to the centre, as a suspect of Alzheimer’s disease, was howling as she recounted how her grandmother had not been treated enough, or investigated enough to be concluded as an Alzheimer’s patient.Vijeyta’s case is not rare, there are of course many such cases where, parents have been put into wellness centers for the elderly or even been relegated to asylums on the pretext of calling them mad,due to some disproportionate behavior. It is of course very easy to do so with elders, who often find themselves at the mercy of their children or their spouses once their health fails them. In such cases,one find the strange reluctance of accepting someone with even slightly abnormal behavior in your midst or even giving them the benefit of a proper medical checkup.
Strangely enough in many cases, mental health is much more of a taboo than TB ever was in our country. In the case of TB, people would at least accept their near and dear ones, even if precautions were taken to keep them at a safe distance within the home. Times have changed and TB no longer the dreaded disease that it was, but what is it about the mentally ill, that brings about a social taboo amongst those at home. A few years ago, when my father in-law was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, the visiting doctor asked us on the phone if we wanted him to come by late in the evening or at night. Confused at his query, we asked him why and were told that those were the instructions from most houses he visited so that the neighbors wouldn’t be alerted about a mental patient in the house.
In spite of all her efforts, Vijeyta could not take back her grandmother home that day, but her effort made a huge difference to her grandmother. She smiled for the first time she had been in the centre. After a while, our needs are very simple and it usually boils down to the love of our near and dear ones.
There are plenty of cases like the aforementioned where the children have pushed their parents into asylums or such other centers without actually confirming the disease or even trying to cope with it at home. I have seen cases where children have realized only much later that their parent’s mental health was actually fine but it would have been some case of extreme disorder in the body that might have caused abnormal mental behavior (Medically proved) In such instances, the elderly might be rescued later from the centre but the trauma of being in such a place and the shame associated with it (still a part of our society) is something that is difficult to eradicate. Whether mental patients or not, the least our parents and the elderly deserve is our respect, love and care. Our schedules may be busy and lives extremely hectic, but surely one can always find some time to CARE.
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