In spite of the title sounding so ominous most of you must have guessed. I am talking about marriage and that too specifically arranged marriages. Recently, a few of my friends have decided to venture on this well trodden path and the experiences that they shared with me prompted me into putting this post.
Even though the trend is more towards love marriages now a days, there are many who go by the age old routine of getting hooked the traditional way. Parents of the prospective brides and grooms have become quite lenient with the 'Ladki/Ladka dekhna routine'. Gone are the days when, if the grooms family come to meet the family of prospective bride, the bride is not inspected as a piece of furniture or like a cattle whose qualities and virtues have to be spelled out in bold.
Now, the girl and the boy are both given an opportunity to chat, go out and talk to each other at length to find out if their attitudes match and whether they like each other or not. Since the advent of Internet, Matrimonial sites are doing brisk business. The task of matchmaking which was earlier performed by relatives and friends has been replaced. Its refreshing to parents changing their stance and gradually changing with the times.
A new trend is also becoming very common, love-cum arranged marriages. Here the boy and the girl decide to get married and the families are also giving their support whole hearted. This seems like a win-win situation.
Personally, I am all for this love-cum arranged marriages. I have never been a fan of arranged marriage in spite of my parents having been married that way.It is such a tough task to choose your life partner in just two or three meetings. That too when both are at their best behaviour and trying hard to impress each other. You have to make adjustments in every marriage be it love or arranged but in a love marriage you are ready for compromises.
I know that everyone cannot have a love marriage and they choose to have their parents find the right match. It must be a tough task to choose someone without knowing him/her well and to decide to spend your entire life with them. Thankfully I never had to go through that experience. How do you decide?? What criteria to look for? Which people to avoid?? Are you taking the right decision?? Is that the right family for me?? the list is endless.
The age old question remains When do you know you have found the right person as your life partner??
I have a sincere admiration for the people who have the courage to embark on such a difficult journey. And for people who want to have a glimpse of what I am saying, please go and see the movie 'Just Married'.
A marriage where the bride
A marriage where the bride and the groom as well as the respective familes give consent should turn out to be a good marriage.
Who cares if it's a love or
Who cares if it's a love or an arranged marriage, as long as the couple are in love!
made in heaven but sustained on earth
Arranged marriages have come a long way from the days when the prospective groom's family used to "check out" their prospective daughter-in-law as if she were a custom piece in a store. And Thank God for that !!! These days usually arranged marriages are more informal in the sense that the bride and groom both have the major say in this. In old days not only the girl, but the boy too had little say about the kind of girl he wished to marry. In our case we met through our family but the decision was ours. As the person above said...you know when you meet Mr/Ms Right. That is if you know yourself right and know what you are actually looking for in your life partner. Then it really doesn't matter whether the two of you met through family elders (arranged) or through friends/cousins (love) . Any marriage I believe is part gamble and part the willingness to make it work. Things become much easier if the person you are working with gels with you. Finding that person really does not depend on one form of marriage or the other. There are many loveless arranged marriages as well as love marriages where the love has long back fizzled out. I am all for a good healthy marriage...whether its love or arrange...the trick is bonding the marriage with love and mutual respect.
I second the love cum
I second the love cum arranged marraiges.
Good article.
hmm..when you find your Mr.
hmm..when you find your Mr. Right..you just know it!!! Kuch Kuch Hota Hain!